Talk:Weeping Claw/@comment-39103377-20191105182501
For basic undestanding for how I will do this, I will mark each section I will be evaluating either P''' (for positive), '''N (for negative) and B''' (for both). Now, onto the review! '''(P) Case Custody Gone Wrong - This has indeed attempted to give a more realistic turn to things and it does so successfully. This feature is great due to the fact that the court would have to look at both of the parents, gain references and conclude with the jury about who may get access to the child for how long or who will permanently have the child. The only thing that seems quite strange is the father's previous history wouldn't affect the court's decision. I mean, you explained he had most likely rehabilitated but for how long? (B) Tracing Her Father's Obsession with Booze - This felt more out of place to be honest. How and why would she try to mimic her father's behaviour if she understood the consequence of doing so? It doesn't make much sense unless she felt that due to all the pain he had received from the case as well as seeing his wife move on led him to drink away his sorrows. That would give more of an explanation as to why she would do so. (B) The Car Crash and The Sequence of Events to Occur Afterwards - This felt like some parts were forced and some parts worked well. For the car crash incident, she instantly is placed into a vulnerable state but...then this is juxtaposed so suddenly. She can make her own weapon, attack a person before escaping the police without issue. Maybe showcasing how her weakness made her more emotionally and/or mentally strong instead is the better way to go (such as Katrina choosing to remain distant until her patience has been tested or keeping her negative thoughts inside while remaining in the public eye). What I mean by that is the fact she needs the final jump to be on top of the mountain, she needs to take one final step not a thousand leaps at a time. Make sure that climax is truly her final step into becoming a Creepypasta. Also, why would the man refer to her as “The Weeping Claw” as if the name itself was given to something resembling Katrina? Maybe she could have given that name to herself by making a certain signature linking to the name or maybe her victims (and others who feared her) may have been linked to her nickname. As for her mental instability, that I can slightly understand. If she obtained temporary or permanent amnesia, she may have felt angered, nervous or depressed for quite some time, especially if she worried about the consequences soon to arrive if she didn’t escape her situation. Overall, the rating for this Creepypasta is a solid 4.6/10. It just needs some improvement with the execution of a few ideas. Other than that, this is a good Creepypasta. I'm impressed by the drastic improvement made from the Creepypasta's previously made origin. Also, try to remember to section out each paragraph for your stories, you can lose marks if you’re not too careful with the layout.